Copyright (c) 2007 Iris Shamble
“ Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to tend and keep it ”
The man (or husband) is a provider, protector, comforter, leader, lover, and most of all, a conqueror. God gave him his first assignment right in the Garden of Eden: "Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to tend and keep it" (Genesis 2:15). God knew it was not good for man to be alone, so He made a "helper comparable to him" (2:18). God put Adam in charge but He knew Adam would need a helper. And then came Wo-Man Eve! A Wo-Man to understand her husband and to help him fulfill his leadership role, to pray for him, support his talents, and encourage him. Now, does that mean that because man is in a leadership role, he has everything under control? Absolutely not! Woman is someone who is adaptable to him, someone to enhance him. So, though the old saying says a dog is man's best friend, we know better! We have to accept our husbands for who they are. It does take time and patience, but through love and determination we can have a great marriage. After all, as women we are not always the easiest person to get along with. Our husband truly needs us to understand him. Don't compete with him or nag him, but try to help him and most of all please him. Zipping our lips can help us avoid a lot of unwanted conversations. Show respect to him at all times!
Make sure you keep prayer in your life. Prayer is what changes things, not our attitude. Setting aside a special time of the day/night to talk to God will bring changes into our lives and marriage. Often I spend time with God thanking Him for things I have seen results of and some things I haven't yet seen results of. I choose to speak life in my life not negative or words that bring death. By this statement of death, I mean destruction or things that do not bring any positive results to my marriage. What we speak in our mouth is surely what we are going to have. Instead of having a good marriage, you can set the stage for a great marriage by what you say.
Many women seem to have a problem with submitting to their husband, yet most of us go outside of our home and faithfully submit to the leadership of our boss with no problem. If you fulfill your role and respect your husband as a leader in your home, your efforts will not go unnoticed by your husband. Your submissive attitude allows a willing spirit to come upon your husband. I can say it will make the life of marriage a little bit easier. I know in my case it did. When our husbands know we cover them in prayer and see we are faithful women, we can be a positive influence. This will also enhance their leadership roles in the marriage and our home.
Men may not share their feelings as we do, but I found that does not mean they don't care. They do care; they just express it in a different way. One last thing to share on loving your husband the right way. So many women become frustrated when trying to get the full attention of their spouse. These great pointers will help you and your judgment for learning how to love your husband the right way:
1) I have learned men DO NOT like to be confronted face to face. You know how it is when being confronted by a dog on a long dark road? By no means am I making a comparison of a man to a dog. Maybe it's as an act of aggression and since they carry such authority within them, this could cause a problem. Make a choice to sit next to your spouse. I have even learned whether I sit next to my spouse on the bed or coach, it does make a difference in our interaction. There are even times where we walk and talk.
2) Make sure you don't have the TV on. When I want to talk to my husband, I try to start my conversation before the TV is turned on.
3) Make it easy. Don't go into a lot of unnecessary conversation. Men like to get to the point and get it over with. Men are very goal orientated, so don't waste their time. If I am taking to long to get to a point, I sense my husband getting restless.
4) Always give positive news first. Giving negative news leads him to tune out the rest of what you want to share. I have learned to be very wise on how to share news with my husband. Sometimes it may be a matter of waiting until another day or time to share it, if it is not detrimental.
That's just the way it is! Why start a conflict when there doesn't have to be one?
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