Lonely Guy's Guide to Romance(PRWEB) October 16, 2005 -- This is for all you shy and lonely guys out there. It's painful enough being alone, but seeing "everyone else" laughing and having a good time with wives and girlfriends, how easy it is to despair of ever gaining these pleasures, to resign yourself to being tortured forever by loneliness, to slip into hopelessness. To give up. No! You hold in your own hands the power to change your life. If only you could turn the same talent and experience that have brought you success in other pursuits to the challenge of finding, meeting, and creating a relationship with a love mate, what wonders might you yet accomplish? For so many desperate and empty years you have struggled to find a companion, something that seems to come naturally to so many other men, yet you have choked on ashes and bitterness. Nonetheless, it is your very failures that make you worthy of love. You will succeed, you will relate in a rare and meaningful way to a woman, and to a depth that will forever be denied those to whom love comes too easily and who therefore take it for granted. You have remained true to the romantic ideal and have escaped the fate of those cynical burnouts that you envy in moments of weakness. Unlike the professional Romeos, those manipulators and skillful predators who attract women effortlessly, you see a love relationship as the singularly precious thing it is. How very fortunate will be the woman who wins your heart.
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
First Steps
Hard work and pain lie ahead. This journey of self-discovery and transformation demands all the courage and determination you can muster. Grit your teeth, for there is much learning to be done, and many mountains loom in the distance. Fortunately you need climb only one at a time. Each painful lesson will leave you, if bloodied, ever more determined to press onward. As hard steel is tempered by heating, then quenching in cold water, so too will your character be strengthened by the hardships you surmount. Growing hurts.
If there is a purpose to life's cruelties and tragedies, it is to make of you a better person. It can be likened to stripping the faded and peeling paint from an antique piece of fine cabinetry to reveal the magnificence of the natural wood grain underneath. This lends credence to the assertion that the only truly strong and quality people are those that have been fire-hardened and polished by adversity.
You will practice patience. You will be patient with yourself. You will be patient with the people you relate with. You will trust that all will work out for the best, and not force matters along. Relationships progress at their own pace, and it is often times a slow one.
Second Step
You will never, never give up.
Learning From Experience
Life is about making mistakes and collecting bruises, learning from them, becoming transformed by them. There is something universal about making a fool of yourself, falling on your face, being rejected by a woman. It has happened to you. It may well happen again. It happens to everyone. Who will tell whether one happy moment of love, or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies?
En-rich From, Admit your mistakes. There's no place to hide from them, but don't take them personally. They need not shatter your self-confidence. Be strong (the pain will recede). Stand back and analyze what happened. Take notes. Record your experiences, tell your story. Keep a journal. It will help you pull together the scattered fragments of your life and piece together the deeper meaning of it. Recognize the dangers of overcorrecting for your aloneness, of prematurely throwing yourself into the "social whirl" to break out of your isolation. You need stability and continuity in your life, and be wary of disrupting familiar routine, lacking adequate preparation. Changing your life is a major undertaking, and it will take time. Defining Yourself Before proceeding farther, it is time to define your own individual identity, to get a firm grasp on who and what you are, to figure out what differentiates you from all the other humans running around in the wide world. This is hard work, and will require a considerable investment in time and effort and thought.
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